All sucks!

Many people have seen this video from the dark ages where two women are talking about tampons and how much better iPad is. Now it turns out that Apple finally brought one into their stores! This iz the greatezt inventzion of mankind!!

If you have not realized already then this web site is called All Sucks and I'm not being serious. Yup.. here I said it! It seems that some people visiting this web site still have a problem understanding this. Now check out this sketch by MadTV:

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So lets talk about iPad "The Greatezt invetzion of mankind!" Turns out this device is not actually made for women who have periods. It is not so called iTampon that was Twitter's top 10 trending topic by the way. It is actually a "netbook killer" according to Steve Jobs and also umm.. piece of garbage apparently! You can already see Apple fanboys raving everywhere how great it is even though they haven't even heard about the good part - its features. Seriously.. Apple fanboys suck, they suck harder than this stupid device! There is no doubt that if this device really was going to be a replacement for tampon these fanboys would be probably lined up to buy these for their girlfriend. Because spending lot of money on stupid worthless shit is a sure way to show that you are cool since middle ages.

This device that is supposed to be a netbook killer comes with really interesting features:

1. It doesn't do anything you want

Yes there are no more points. I could list all kinds of problems with it like being only limited to software in App Store(free software disappears, good stuff is paid, there is censoring etc) or being locked down to only one network or to memory cards that nobody uses. If you are still not convinced since you are such a Apple fanboy then you might also want to know that you can't watch your faggy friends fanboy videos about how cool they are with their new iPad aka iTampon because it doesn't play flash! Yes, no Youtube for you or any of those other trendy web bling-blings you faggots send to each other. So besides being limited to a shitty network you also are limited to.. umm watching photos and reading with it? Oh right this device can't also multitask, so you can't listen to music and watch photos of cute bunnies with it at the same time for example. This surely can't be hip for all the trendy people of today.. ugh.. reading, seriously?! Didn't Amazon already do something like this anyway with Kindle but didn't actually name their product electronic maxipad?

Oh and about that - Although Jobs apparently said that iPad is supposed to compete with notebooks you can pretty quickly tell that this isn't so. Smarter Apple fanboys are trying to protect this garbage by saying that it is supposed to be for reading books and stuff. So... why do I need this again? For what it costs I could get a Kindle and a netbook. Even though Jobs doesn't want to mention that this device was supposed to be competition for Kindle then this is actually what it really is. He saw a great product and copied it for his fanboys and some of these bright guys even call this iTampon original, brilliant!

Apple product development strategy

But lets try to put all the limitations and other issues why it sucks aside with this abomination for a second. Lets try to see practical reasons for having one but exclude stuff that Kindle already does. Hm wait.. there are none!? Unless you count showing it to your friends and playing around with it for a month max(ipad)imum. Sure Apple stuff is very expensive, everyone knows this, but this has to be the funniest product ever in that sense. I can already see the next step by Apple: "It is iPaper, you can write on it!" Of course for such an amazing invention you will need to shell out at least $500 and $100 extra for amazing iPencile with real iGraphite core!

If you still decide to buy iPad you totally deserve a medal for being little retarded. Yes, you might as well write moron on your forehead. Do you remember this old photo where some idiot was comparing iPhone to a rock? Well it seems that it is time for another comparison:

PS From another perspective if you would like a Kindle that can play videos and computer games you may find it pretty cool. I would still wait until the price drops since right now it is definitely not worth it(The price just sucks so hard!).